Now and Then. Chapter Two

 

NOW AND THEN

A Random History of my Life

 

 

Chapter Two

 

In the late 60' I was trying hard to become a businesswoman! Since most of what happened to me, happened by chance, I landed in the communication business because someone-met my mother- at the Venice Biennale (!!)-who thought-that his ideas were interesting-and told me to find out more-and I hadn't a clue-but thought it was cool- and began my career!!!

Ha..ha..ha...the first three month I was alone in a room inside a much bigger office and my boss (the one who met my mother at the Biennale!!) didn't himself have a clue of what to do with us!! He said I had to learn how to type. True! He said to write letters to the Chamber of Commerce's lists of companies....I wrote an infinite number of letters using an old typing machine, carbon copy and so on! I used at least a forest of trees in those three months! But I learned to type!

 

Later, a few years later, I went to Moline....yes, in Illinois! But I'm going too far too quickly. Food for more chapters.

 

With a University degree in Political Science one can do everything, but that everything was hard to break down in viable careers. I was told at some point that I could have a career in the Police or become an ambassador. Ehm...not me! I'm not violent nor diplomatic!

Besides, I didn't know what I wanted, forget about knowing which career to embark on! I only knew that I wanted to work, something respectable young ladies were just then beginning to grasp!

I strongly believe in example, meaning give good examples to kids if you want them to be good people and citizens. My mother worked despite being banned by the "hi-society" of the times. My dad did too and fought against fascism. So there you go....I had to follow! But how??!! I was no where near them in terms of intelligence, culture...you name it. Hence...where could I look to find something to do not too miserable and hopefully even respectful and fulfilling??!!?? 

The communication deal seemed acceptable and unknown enough to make it attractive.

 

So I was busy learning to become a career woman, juggling my marriage and "follow-ups", and dealing with life. It took me a while to grasp the Press Release concept, and to learn to write in an acceptable PR jargon. All I had in my head were question marks!

 

 

 

Look what I found! I was looking for some pictures just before continuing writing. I have tons but all mixed up so I don't really know what to expect when I open a box. And...incredible...never saw this one in years...me standing with Leon Panetta whom I invited to a conference in Milano!



 

I had moved from Torino to Milano a few years earlier and I was still trying to find my way in a new city. I loved it, so much more lively, great night shows, open minded people. I spent a lot of free time walking borough after borough, understanding what my husband work was, locked in a huge room with gigantic computers...What I loved about his work was that he could write to me the most "techy" love letters...using an IBM 360!!

Everything ends, at least in my life.

The only family members I have providentially lived in Milan. My cousin, Franca, luckily had married a guy who really knew how to dance. During those early Milanese days I danced my way through the nights, rock&roll, boogie, Charleston, mambo, rumba and cha-cha-cha ...and so on!

Franca and her son FIlippo, no more a baby...

Those two and their 2 kids also began traveling quite a lot. And report back, which is not always such a wonderful experience (we were here...we had so much fun there...this was amazing but you can't see it in this pic...and so on...) also because in those years we had slides, with projector, wires, lenses, bulbs, and tons of uncatalogued small slide containers...discouraging!
Short....one year they came back from the West/Southwest in heaven with red rocks in all the pictures they had! I couldn't believe my eyes. It all stuck in my head, and deep in my heart.

The person who was in charge of their travels was someone who quickly became my friend too, Riccardo Rietti. Over the years we followed each other through continents and capitals of the world (well, kind of...), he helped me in the business with sound advice, with my life decisions when I was lost. In brief, he became a wonderful friend.
He died on December 2nds, ten days ago.

Riccardo, you would not have imagined in those days that your trip to now "my" country would become such a game changer in my life! It was almost 30 years ago....I never thanked you for this because I never saw the story the way I'm telling it now. So, please Riccardo, accept my heartfelt thank you! I will miss our long conversations from the homes of your sons who live back East.



Riccardo loved taking pictures. He self-published
some great photography books
                       
 






















So, here I am at Hopi Reservation! I designed the trip without a clear idea of where and what. I wanted the red rocks! Maybe someone remembers that for a short time there has been a hotel at Hopi! Burned down. We had already driven quite a bit, slept in a camp with a deer (in Milano this kind of things don't happen!), etc. Hopi though was indeed a big change!

This memory helped me often; when taking customers to visit I know exactly what goes through their mind before they even open their mouth! It's not easy to come straight from a big developed international city and...be ready for Hopi!

As we pull in, a second car stopped besides us.  we were the only two groups there, Two girls. We met again at dinner, chatted, fell in love with each other, promised to write (we then saw each other many times, I went to spend a month in Bali with one, spent wonderful times in NYC, what a lucky encounter!). Most importantly, we decided to meet again in a place they knew. Later, years later, I realized it was Chimayo'!!!! Funnily enough, we decided to skip Santa Fe because apparently there was not much to see!!

 

I remember I and my friend stopped in Albuquerque, went in a music shop and asked who was the hottest singer at the time. You know, in America everything was better (THEN!!!). I was informed that the first Bob Marley (Marley who???!!!) 33 record was out. I bough it. I still adore him today!

 

The then Chimayo' Restaurante is still clearly in my mind, stone steps and parasol.... it didn't change much!!

 

On that trip something else stopped my heart for a moment: Canyon de Chelly's Massacre Cave!

We got there without any expectations. We walked down the trail leading to the overlook and...Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I saw it again when I was already living here, in a snowy winter evening...amazing too!

There on the rim there are illustrations depicting scenes of that place. At massacre cave there is one that really struck me: the drawing is very realistic, almost childish. Terrifying. A Navajo woman grabs a Spanish soldier and not strong enough to kill him there and then she tightly grabs his body and jumps off the cliff taking him with her.

 

Massacre Cave

 

When I finally saw "RED" it was when we got lost and decided to follow a sign pointing at Painted Desert. Oh, I wish I could do it all over again!

Chapter

Being mature (old)

I'm really, really excited to have reached my age and to be able to discover that maturity and wisdom do indeed go hand in hand. It is an amazing feeling when answers to questions about things that happen around you come to you, like crawling from your guts up, up into the stomach, your chest and finally out of your mouth. And you don't have to do anything! It is a spontaneous process, it just happens.

Bla...bla...this and that...once upon a time...

I often considered doing what many friends have been suggesting for a while: write about my life. My answer has always been the same: I don't write well, particularly in English (!!!); my life is not so special to deserve to be shared; there are too many books out there that go unread into the black holes of the Universe. The truth is though, that each life is unique. Your life is unique, just  like his, hers, ours. But they are unique for ourselves, seldom for others.

But..., ok, yes, I want to try to jot down some memories and current experiences. We shall see. Be good to me!

NOW AND THEN

A Random History of my Life

 

Introduction

 

Because memory is a gift no longer available after a certain age, it's difficult to remember the name of the person you just met, or the article it took 30 minutes to read. We have to accept this. But memories from one's past come back, during the day, when you read but your mind refuses to focus, when you listen to a long chat on the phone, and during the night when you dream or have nightmares, when...when...when. Luckily most go away as fast and mysteriously as they came to us! And these memories sit at the bottom of your corners, scattered around in the mind and body to create a useful basket of facts our brain can manipulate to create...WISDOM!

Chapter One

Since about a year ago or so, I realize that it became easy for me to be a "counselor". Until then, if someone would ask for advice, I knew I was not going to be able to open my mouth quickly as my teeth were sticking together in terror... waiting for something to say to come up. Not anymore. The memory of a long life full of amazing experiences, people, fun and sad events create a sort of alliance among them and, voila', my opinion is ready and clear and I can advise, in a way that makes sense, and can even prove useful!

Here is where memories from the past come in! While listening to the friend in trouble, I receive an image of myself. University, studying with two friends, sitting on a pale green couch overlooking, through a gable, the river Po, that runs through Turin. We have on our laps those gigantic law books that I never managed to find interesting. I couldn't understand much, nor follow the discussion among THEM. My friends who learned quickly, who even understood what we were reading. Those two who didn't see my struggle, didn't pay attention to me, didn't care about my panic attacks. Didn't say a word to convince me that I was OK. I panicked, tears would begin dropping on my skirt (no pants then, unless when you skied!). I wanted them to SEE me, talk to me, and tell me that I was not stupid. Nothing. I saw my friends like in a cloud, happy, chirping, repeating long sentences about law...I was invisible. My heart was aching. I would resolve to screaming out loud: I think I'm stupid!!!!

The result was always the same, after quickly staring at me they would laugh and say "What??!!"

The same feelings, other circumstances. A Greek Island, gorgeous, hardly any tourist. It was my third visit. Many friends came with me. 16 hours between blue sea and burning sun (I am now covered with freckles and dark spots...), then dancing sirtaki all night. What was I doing when we were all walking up to the house I rented for us? I would gradually slow down my pace in order to stay behind and then get depressed! I would wait for someone to turn around, noticing I was not with them but alone, far away (not so far, really...) and sad, very sad. I needed someone to say "why are you behind? Something wrong?" Nothing of that ever happened because nobody could imagine that the most vivacious of all, laughing, diving, and dancing happily day and night, had something like that in her mind. Who would?
I can assure you that I was more than miserable, I was desperate (although it was over as soon as we reached home and change for dinner!). Truly.

Now I know that things happen for a reason. Since I was the happiest little girl during childhood and growing up, I had to experience, although not seriously, the feeling of depression and of being alone and misunderstood if I wanted to fend my way through life without a lifesaver. I did, I indeed survived all the bad experiences, each time feeling stronger, each time feeling I was equipped for victory. By myself.

My friends never found out how "cruel" they have been with me. Some are no longer with us. But I remember their happy and intelligent faces while I was feeling stupid, weak, alone.

Thank you for not noticing, now I can help others. If you had noticed I would always look for help outside myself.

Something else. A few days ago I read about an Italian organization that takes care of young people from poor countries who come to Italy to study. I first searched on Facebook, then I also searched for more information on the Internet. And BANG...the name of the village where it is based is that of a place where I have been incredibly happy while growing up. A hilly area famous for its vineyards and small farms. My family bought that place to hide during fascism, when possible. For me that place is synonymous of happiness, freedom, where I learned the friendship with animals and about their loyalty.
Thanks to that Google search and to my never ending curiosity I travelled back to the twin calves of my beloved cow Mora, that allowed me to raise one with the bottle while she was nursing the other (I will never forget the lovely nose covered with milk!!);

the goose chicks who lost their mother, the eggs laid under a helpful mommy turkey, and then in my shirt's pocket. I can still feel their tiny beaks eating bright yellow corn flower directly from my mouth!

Then, during my search I found a new page talking about restoring a beautiful gate now in disrepair. OMG....it is MY gate that opened to the farm!!!!!!!! That I didn't remember, until I saw it and suddenly it was like a movie. Me with the boy I grew up with, Marco, on an oxcart. getting the oxen from the stable, tying them to the cart, opening the gate and off into the fields! We were less than 10 years old for sure. With big pitchforks we would work hard lifting hey until the cart was so high we could hardly climb to the top. I can still feel the pride of coming home to the farm, open the gate having accomplished a tremendous job.

The search blessed me with another image of the farm. The label of a wine now produced there has the design of the building that saw my most exciting and "extreme" adventures, never again to be performed! The hayloft and the stable, which you can't see but that it was right below the lofts. Those were the places for "extreme" activities (i.e. forbidden to the children...) like jumping many levels of hey stacks, hiding for hours, and talking with the cows all with their warm look in their eyes who would turn around to greet me every time I would open the stable door. This was not forbidden but only BEFORE the evening bath....

 



Going to bed now hoping for some dreams and late night Google searches to give me some other bits of memories, enough for another chapter.  

Now I know why!

It is thanks to my aunt, the soprano, that I landed here in the West!

 

The other day I was having a great time with an interesting guy whom I didn't know until then but who is now like a close friend because we discovered that we grew up in the same mountain area in Northern Italy! A fortunate encounter! He was here from Italy for business with the Opera so I tried to remember all the episodes in my life related to that world.

 

My father's older brother, Giuseppe, was a conductor (as well as a hero of WWI) who worked for years with Arturo Toscanini at the Metropolitan in New York. There he met Franca Somigli, American, who became his wife. She was known as a fabulous soprano who sang on both sides of the ocean. Her most famous role is that of Minnie in "La fanciulla del West" (The Girl of the West) by Giacomo Puccini. I found a mention of her that made me wish to have known her better! "In 2008 soprano Dessí, in Rome, came on stage on a real horse just like Franca Somigli used to do"

 

I remember comments of friends and from my mother depicting her as a wild beauty, with a strong character but very nice and generous. Although not a beauty, in my opinion, she had the charm of her character and intelligence. I liked her.

In the photo below is the famous tenor Caruso performing in la Fanciulla del West in New York, conductor Toscanini, 2010. No body building in those years...

 

 

On August 19th of an undisclosed year (!!) Mom was in her room in our villa in Sordevolo, near Biella, trying to throw me out in the world, while in the park some guests were wandering around waiting to meet me. (I made this up). My dad, instead, went to his studio because he wanted to be working at his desk while his daughter was making her first appearance! Oh men....!.

 

 

 

But real guests were there indeed, among whom my aunt Franca. Crazy as she was, she decided to sing while her niece was being born...so with all her breath she started singing La Fanciulla del West!!!

 

And there is when I came into this world!

 

Reported by my poor mom in person who was laughing when she told me the story but said that she was very upset by that noise right in the middle of her delivery. I bet!

 

Right of the terrace, the two windows of the room where I was born!

So...after years in a life that didn't really belong to me, I finally heard the message sung for me by aunt Franca..go West, girl!



And here I am!

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laura

Laura welcoming me home, in the rental

The beginning of our adventure in New Mexico. It was the first time for Laura and for me the first time I rented a tiny casita because the friends I usually stayed with couldn't have me.   

 

The casita consisted of  1 room plus the WC. The bed was less than a Queen. When Laura called me in Milano to ask me if she could come with me, I panicked for a second thinking where on earth I could possibly fit her in. I said yes. She arrived before me and I found her fast asleep in "my" bed.

After a couple of days wandering through town and showing her around, my then boss called and told me I had to take the first flight to Mexico City for an international presentation. When I stubbornly said no and that I only had a pair of jeans with me, he said I had an open budget to buy whatever I needed to be presentable.

Laura chose my clothes and shoes. I left her with a few instructions about where to go, left her the car keys and flew to my destination where also the Pope was landing, same time, same day. A mess!

Sooo....hours later I arrived where my colleagues were rehearsing. I had not a clue of where I was at that point! But this is not the story.

 

Back in Santa Fe we went all over the places, typical and non tourist destinations, friends' homes, dirt roads. and standing in front of this casita where I now live, one day of August 2002, we decided to buy it without having said a word before!

Laura, left, with realtor, waiting to go inside.

In the meantime a thirds crazy Italian girl joined  the gang, Rosie Comensoli. She came to show her tribal art at the Ethnographic Show! We all had a ball! Rosie has travelled through Asia, particularly Afghanistan and India, alone and not for years!

Rosie and Laura on the only bed we shared that first summer together

 

For a few years the three of us had the best pajama parties on earth. We were in our casita, the cats joined in, the best one could wish in life.

 

Over the years Laura and I drove in all directions, all around the Southwest. We had a ball! Thelma and Louise with no jumping off the cliff!

     

 

The tour company that I still have, Seven Directions|Cultural and Sustainable Tours, began with Laura's help. She wrote most of the texts for the website. Often I had to laugh because she was a reporter for women's magazines and her style was not exactly business jargon. But then I thought that as a matter of fact we indeed were different. So be it!

 

In Milan it was Laura opening her home to me and all the friends I wanted to see. Then, every night we were up until we couldn't talk anymore. How could we always have so much to say???? A lot for sure was about politics!! We wanted to change the world, you know?

 

I don't remember when Laura and I met. But for many years we saw each other off and on. Those were the years where she had a baby and worked as a journalist. I was a business woman, somewhat, divorcing, having miscarriages, and finding my way through life.

 

Later, when both of us had a bunch of proving experiences, we became close again. I remember that one winter evening I was standing near the phone, when it rang: Laura didn't want to stay home alone for Christmas. Who would? I invited her to join me&company on our trip to India, the Southern part. Off we went to Mumbai and made our way through to beautiful Kerala. Where are those photos?

On that trip she led the way every evening to a nice place in the hotel we stayed at to have a gin and tonic!

 

Next year was Burma, amazing surprise.

 

What happened next? I think that we were both going through some life hiccups so we were laughing and crying. And of course talking a LOT.

She then became a grandmother and started following the babies around Central and South America.

 

We saw each other in Milan. We had much more to talk about, although we used to talk on Skype a lot, because we didn't have a whole summer to share anymore. She always showed me the newest places in Milan, museums, restaurants, small shops, bookstores.

 

I had a lot of envy for her beautiful legs. Long, just great. They were perfect for trousers of any kind. It hurt, I always wanted the same....The other drawback, was that she was walking at an incredible fast speed...me following, stumbling, puffing. Hating her.

 

Her last outing, a month ago

 

 

Here I stop. I have cried enough. I miss her terribly. I spoke to many of her friends these days, friends I never met before. We are now united through her

 

I still have her coffee cups, a fun clock, the clothes she left here, a book I bought for her and she never read, dishes we bought together in Taos for our new casita, her nightgown, other stuff.

 

She is all around me. She is here. Hello Laura, I'll see you soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHY AM I HERE? Questions & Answers (to myself)

Why did I come here? Why did I leave there? What made me think that here was better than there? Better how? Can I face going back, in case?

These are all pretty obvious questions one would ask herself after leaving a comfortable, successful, life, loved by many wonderful friends, with two gorgeous houses, an important family heritage (intellectual, not monetary!), at ease anywhere in the world provided I had what I wanted.

The obvious, initial answers were: this is a magic place, it speaks to me like no other before, I love deserts, I'm very interested in the Native American culture, I met some lovely people.

The hard truth was: nothing of that is holding. It's not enough to support a new life and everything has changed too much since the "love at first sight" moment.

A few things followed: I looked for like minded people, I engaged myself in some voluntary work, I went to the gym, etc. The obvious. Then I ended up in a known (safe?) territory: I started a business, again. My seventh. Why? Go figure...but later I did figure out why. It was what I knew well, what would absorb me fully, 24x7, leaving no space for existential questions. A safe heaven.  So, the usual neck ache, anxiety, fear for not succeeding, as well as learning everything from scratch about the industry, players, trends.

I also experienced panic as never before like when I was denied a Visa! Where did I turn to for advice and cheering up? To myself (and at times to Skype reaching out to my old friends back home)

Until...9 years later...I collapsed. In a big way.
I was not 30 anymore and I have never been so sad for myself. For the first time I was on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown. I was alone. I didn't know what to do nor who I was anymore. I was lost and I knew it was the end, the end of many things, many me, many dreams.
If it sounds too dramatic compared to being attacked by a mini-drone, or losing a house to fire, or going to war, well,  I agree. But in my small personal world it was huge and all new.

However....what happened was also unexpectedly really good.
I made it through on my own, struggled, did some hard to take reality checks, counted my wounds. It reminded me of Galileo Galilei's saying "what goes up must come down", but the other way around and slightly personalized: one needs to go down to then come back up!

 I also realized that this place is no heaven, it's not magic, it's a hard place to survive in if you are not native.
So, I came to the conclusions that:
1.you make a place your own wherever you are, not the contrary
2. to leave the nest where you were born and grew up it's always dangerous. No friends, you know...those you can call anytime during the night; no support system like the doctor who knows you since you were a child or the person who knows where you come from and what your values are. So it is OK not to feel at home.

To present it here in an even more tragic way, if you add A+B+C  below the challenge is seriously huge! OPTIONAL READ.
A. people here are very un-physical and don't touch each other much. We hug a lot!
This is not an embracing community. All Europeans and Asians living here agree on this, at least all the ones I met and talked with at times.
B. Looking at the number of Meetup groups explains the above well: you need to be entrepreneurial for your own social survival, get out, look for others, not necessarily friends. Friends are no longer there, you must find them, maybe not in the circles you would have thought of before.
Many people are transient, so when you think you have finally found someone you like, he or she are gone!
C. Nobody in the new place, at least in this place, really gives a s*@#t about you unless you are: very interesting, wealthy, entertaining, successful, always happy&positive etc. Not too different either. No time to get to know yet a new arrival!! I have never been a social climber, even less here.

The next steps were rather interesting, although demanding. I slowly went down the list: I scrolled through all the mistakes I made in my life to find a pattern. I tried to match me-yesterday with me-today. Most difficult is the phase where I focused on engaging myself in getting to know who I am, no matter how many nights it takes. Each attempt takes you one step forward!

In the meantime you need to reinvent your life, make new exciting mistakes, try to explain what you are going through to people staring at you with questions marks in their eyes. Also never lose sight of your bank account. Use your best will power to reply with kindness to your best friends from the past saying "I told you".

I lived through a variety of phases, some good, some not so good. But the big surprise was that I was still standing on my own legs! I actually felt as if my legs had become as strong as those of a biker!

I found again the strength to reconnect with my past without feeling all the things I felt before. I accepted myself, I also accepted the fact that I was not special except for myself. Sometimes I even liked who I was.

I knew I was going to be balanced again, strong, healthy, comfortable in my skin. I was going to like life! And I did that. Some times it requires some pushing and reminding, but that's ok.

So, why am I here???????

The first answers I have at the moment are: because I like challenges. Because I never accepted what came to me but wanted to create my own space or adventure. Because I needed to feel lost to rise again and feel that I am ok. To learn that "it can happen to me too" as opposed to "it can't happen to me, right?" attitude. Because I don't compromise nor accept to do something "that makes sense" just to be in line with what everybody else does. Because I had to run away from what I had to understand how precious it was.

And now I am enjoying the best time of my life! I reach out to people I would never have spoken with before; I enjoy all the strangenesses I find on my passage; I focus on feeling good as much as life allows me to, I have less expectations and more will power. I understand the power we have as animals of this planet when we learn to listen to our own feelings.
Que sera, sera? Sometimes!  

Brief: I feel really good! I am open to life, not that life I thought it was the life prepared for me, rather whatever life I feel I can enjoy. Yes, I came here to learn about life. I came here to learn to say thank you for what I have or what I don't have. I came here to feel strong. And to be light.

I allow myself to say that this has been my journey from a safe prison to a conscious and free being.

Is it ME writing all this? Am I under some sort of  Santa Fe influence?!

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind....

The excitement is still here!

What am I talking about?
Let me first say that recently I have been straddling between two worlds, my previous one and the current one. I wanted to deal with old dusty issues I left behind. I should have left them behind!

And here, I finally decided to keep my company and my business. I know I announced big changes, creative solutions, and thought I was the best problem solver on earth.

Nope! So, I'm open for business with one caveat: I only accept nice and open minded people. How do I know? I just know. And I also learned to say no!

Coming to the excitement announced in the title, this is what I'm talking about. Since the first time I landed here I fell in love with Native American art. That was actually what brought me here in the first place.I was totally virgin about it. I learned everything by talking to old timers art connoisseurs and established dealers who were still going on the rez to find stuff! I then met artists who have been very good to me and patient with me. Even when I had my gallery in London, I have never been a big buyer that artists would even try to schmooze. Not at all. But I made friendships.

Over the years I followed these artists, saw them bloom and become well known. And when possible I bought something. Before to sell, then only for myself!

Every year when I came here in the summer, I couldn't wait to see my friends, and what I could spot that I could afford. The excitement of the chase! The first thing I would always do, still jet-lagged, was to drive up to Ranchos de Taos where I had a marvelous friend who had a marvelous gallery and with whom I spent summer after summer with whenever it was possible. And then winters too!

Some wonderful years I was part of the shows with another friend who was a serious oriental art dealer. Oh, those years....

I have "done", meaning walked from north to south and west to east, the Santa Fe Indian Market since 1990! It was like going to school: I was looking, asking questions, comparing, and then start all over again!

Now that I feel I've done almost everything possible here, although I know there are many things I have on my wish list, I started becoming a bit anxious about the excitement of the "search". So this year, today, I did a test. I told myself: you take yourself to Native Treasures and see. Will I think "oh, same old" or "the usual" or will I feel that itch...you know what I'm talking about, right?

It's been fantastic! Met old friends, talked to new emerging artists, heard about the ins and outs of many, spent some time to know better someone I just discovered.  I felt so excited when I stopped to have a short conversation with a now very established artist that I think is quite phenomenal and different from all the others. I bought his first piece back then! Now I would not afford his most recent ones.
I discovered over the time that I have a good eye, a natural instinct for spotting promising artists, although not enough experience.

I also realized that I really felt at home there. When at the end I stopped to look at some jewelry that somehow I never bought, and the person who was helping asked me my name and then was able to tell my last name adding "I know I know you", my heart exploded. I definitely am part of all this. In my own Italian way.

In future shows will this young girl have become a famous weaver from her humble current role of carding?

My multilegged minuscule friend is back!

A miracle. He lives in the corner of the window facing north. Outside. He rolled his little body so tight, preparing for the winter, that he looked like half the size of a pea. I checked on him regularly, always there.

Some days the sun was out for a few hours and the air was nicely warm. I hoped to see him but he didn't open up.

I often thought of him wondering how he survived with no food (insects are all gone over the winter months), cold, lonely, Then I realized that his idea of  life is different from mine and that he certainly was perfectly happy doing he small spider winter things.

I have a confession to make: I forgot all about him (her?!) for a few weeks. Isn't it awful that one can forget a friend? Someone who managed to weave the most beautiful web strategically positioned to cover his butt and face the sun, who didn't scream at me when by mistake someone decided to clean the window (not me, no way, clean?) and destroyed his web. I thought he was gone and would never come back. But then there he was, a small web, enough to sit in the center of and wait for his lucky moment.

Winter, snow, wind. He always managed to make himself even smaller and stick to the corner of the wooden frame around the window.

Then...I didn't see his little body anymore. I put on my best glasses, I used a magnifying lens, I moved what was left of his web. No sign of my friend.

I started talking to myself, trying to keep some tears back. How could I dream that such a minute creature was meant to survive through a winter at 7000 feet? Why would he, just because I befriended him, be the only one in the world to survive? That's life, I have to accept it. After all there was no web left. Goodbye sweet one!

Today was one of those days when all my friends and business contacts decided to call me or Skype me. I had to send a really important text off to some people abroad. Kitties were still without any food. I had to book an adventure in California before leaving. I managed to have breakfast, wash up, get dressed in 15 minutes. Ready for the lecture I wanted to attend. A record, you will agree.
Ready, out of the door. Lock...and...OMG....there he was....sun tanning! The web is magnificent, all back as before.

I managed to take a picture to post here. He is such a weird thing. I call it a spider, he could well be something from another planet! But he is amazing! It looks like he has to tiny horns, a lot of  hair(legs?) falling down loose from his tiny body. He is funny, strange, silent, and sturdy!

I am so excited to have him back. It's a miracle. Miracles happen, don't they? I hope he can get some food soon and put on some wait.

Thank you little creature for staying with me!



This blow-up reveals a monster...help!!!!!!!

L'Uovo di Colombo...not such a good idea

I will be short: my idea didn't work. I should have known, really! Trying to put together an international business approach and a manana laid back "it will be all right" idea of business was plain wrong. It didn't last. The end.

From now on I won't announce my big ideas anymore! I will just do.

I am at a point in my life where I don't feel like explaining things. We are either made of the same cloth, or not.

Freedom!

L'Uovo di Colombo

Blog n.51!!! Beginning of a New Era?

How I came to a brilliant but obvious solution.
I was inspired by Cristoforo Colombo, whose reputation is now slightly tarnished, but his problem solving technique of finding an unexpectedly simple solution to a problem that seemed impossible is still a good one.

Colombo breaks the egg by William Hogarth

You can read the "real" story of the egg at the bottom of this page. I don't have an egg issue (had 2 this morning at breakfast though!!) but a life issue. To stop (working) or not to stop? Someone may remember that in my previous blog I said that I now want to live by choice rather than by habits. True. Not always easy though!

I finally chose to continue working, but not totally. Not as before! I want to have more time to play/read/wander around. But no, I can't let go of all the work I have done and, yes, the passion for this land is still there. If only I could avoid learning about the too many horrible things that humankind is doing to destroy it...but let's keep smiling for the time being, okay?!!

And here comes the egg!

I need someone to complement me in my work! (Merriam-Webster:  something that fills up, completes, or makes perfect) Exactly!

Someone with experience, with an independent spirit like mine, who is enthusiastic about life in general.

Bang! The egg hit my mind and I called her. Deal! We have a plan and we know how to share the work.

The new Seven Directions is called (changes may occur, check the website in a month!)

SEVEN DIRECTIONS | Travel Consultant

Hand Made Travel Concepts and Programs 

Personally Crafted by Patrizia (beautiful photo!)

Turnkey programs are provided in conjunction with an established travel agency.

The big change is that I feel free, which means that I'm not compelled to accept to work with whomever calls me. I can say no!!!

I can often tell from the first hello if the person is one I want to work with or not. I learned this through all my consulting over the millennia!

Unbelievably, since the decision has been reached, the phone began ringing: Canada, Italy, France, US...yeiiii!! 

Now I need a really nice picture, any photographer with touch-up skills out there????

Note: the white background is not my idea, I don't know how to fix it and I don't think it matters. Do you??? 

L'Uovo di Colombo:

The origin of this phrase is a popular, probably false anecdote, which has the Genoese navigator Christopher Columbus as its protagonist. After his return from America in 1493, Columbus was invited by Cardinal Mendoza to a dinner in his honor. Here some Spanish gentlemen tried to downplay him, saying that the discovery of the New World would not have been so difficult and that anyone could do with proper means. Hearing this, Columbus was angry, and challenged the Spanish nobles in what seemed an easy enterprise: make an egg stand upright on the table. Each of them made several attempts, but none succeeded and they gave up, convinced it was an insoluble problem, and begged Columbus to show a solution. Columbus tapped the egg gently on the table breaking it slightly and the egg stood upright. When bystanders protested, saying that they could do the same too, Colombo said, "The difference, my friends, is that you could have done it, but I did."



 

January 1st, 2015

I really like the first day of the year. The other two days I also like are March 21st, beginning of Spring (and my wedding!) and August 19, my birth day.
It's all about beginnings, coming alive, starting again, hoping.

So today is the day to reach out to you all to

wish you an exciting year if you want to make it so

 

and to begin writing again here after too many months of silence. It's been an interesting 8++ months, bad and good, filled with fears and happiness. Just life stuff that has been useful to bring me where I am today: happy!


When I started this blog my intention was to bring you on some of my travel adventures and discoveries. I wanted to share the emotions that this land can unexpectedly bring out. I also happen to get carried away by memories and feel the urge to write them down. 
Today you have to allow me to change somewhat because I feel I have to tell you something about where I am as Patrizia 

and not as a traveler.

Ready?
BACKGROUND
We are living in a complicated world that at times feels on the brink of explosion, or, better, implosion. This makes a lot of us feel unsettled, angry, powerless, revengeful, hopeless, lost. I did actually feel exactly that way.

On a more personal level, at the end of a very unusual time for me when I felt extremely uncomfortable both with myself and with the whole world, near and far, followed by another period where the world seemed to smile to me and tell me how much love was all around me, I had to stop and ponder.

Santa Fe offers the best atmosphere for this sort of meditating mode in which one can surrender without fear to be ridiculed or laughed at. So, I'm lucky! I recommend to consider coming here if you need to change gear!

PROCESS
Some key points I reached through my thoughts:

• I am a very lucky person despite the many challenges I hade to live through
• I was able to change my life by choice which opened several doors for me that I could decide to walk through or not. I did.
• I experienced new ways of going through life and I began living by choices rather than by habits.

Despite the enormous number of negative and often horrendous things around me and us all, finally my view on the world changed from "to destroy" to "there is something...well kind of...maybe...good at the end of the tunnel".

• But it was up to me to see the light rather than the dark side of everything, the beautiful human beings rather than the criminals and crooks. It is hard to do this, often too hard, but there is hope.

RESULTS

• In short, I chose to be happy which represent the beginning for being a better person. If you are happy you are more available, you listen to other ideas with an open mind, you want to join other people to do things together, things you believe in and they too. Think about it and tell me if you agree.
  

• I also realized that it's a question of time. If one wants to open up to the world, be available for others, learn from others, read, meet new people, be active in the community, well he or she must make sure to free up some time! And not be dead tired at the end of the day. Without time and good spirit one can't experience anything beyond the personal life routine. Hence...I had to stop working. This was a huge decision for me, a workaholic with 50+ years of 24x7, and 10-15 hours of actual working time a day.

At the same time I decided to quit smoking. Excruciating experience... and it's not over!!!

HUMAN FACTORS (indecision)
I stopped working and I didn't, I cancelled some contracts to then find new ones. This went on for a while until I felt stupid! At this point my only choice was to listen, as I always do when I'm lost, to my guts  It is amazing how quickly it kicks in to help you! Once you have a goal or an idea, your gut instinct begins to lead in the direction one needs to go in order to accomplish the task he or she has set out to complete.

EXTERNAL HELP
Don't be shy, I was telling myself, reach out to people around you, your friends, they may say a word that hits your imagination, or your heart, that prompts a reaction and BANG you see clear in front of you! I felt drawn to conversations with people I would not normally speak with. It's been a great experience.

WHERE I AM TODAY
This may sound all too easy but I can't tell you the step by step process I went through because it wouldn't be that interesting for you! I can tell you the conclusion of my search: I don't stop but I change the focus.

In a nutshell, Seven Directions will be a travel consulting company with........No, I can't continue, so sorry! I must make sure I know what exactly my business will change into and what my new adventure partners' final dreams are. I'm sure about mine!

The first day of the year is coming to an end.  I did what I planned to do including a walk on an unusually empty Canyon Road and through Patrick Smith Park breathing deep the crisp and pure air.

A good first day. I am happy.